1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Bounce.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now he goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelitly came as a rude shock, like a withdrawal fee at a formerly withdrawal-fee free cashpoint.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Tesco bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
12. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
13. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Manchester at 6:36 PM traveling at 55 mph, the other from Birmingham at 4:19 PM at a speed of 35 mph.
14. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
15. He fell for her like he was a mob informant and she was the East River.
16. Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
17. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
18. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
19. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was acutally lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
20. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fencepost.
21. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a Securicor van reversing.
22. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
23. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
24. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Last Modified : February 17th, 2008 Filed under : Writing Navigate : Previous post / Next post