The Sun’s detailed eyewitness account of life in “post-tsunami” Tokyo

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Posted 18 Mar 2011 in Japan, News, Tokyo, UK

Well, today I:

  • went to work in central Tokyo (just 15 mins walk from the British Embassy) on a busy-as-usual train;
  • had curry for lunch – as I often do – at the Indian restaurant up the street from my office;
  • left for home an hour early because of a feared power cut (that never happened);
  • bought dinner from an entirely normal seeming food hall at my local station;
  • watched TV.

Keely Fujiyama, on the other hand, probably spent her day scraping radioactive lichen off her bathroom wall for dinner. Nerima-ku (which is actually closer to central Tokyo than where I live)  is apparently “like London in the zombie movie 28 Days Later.”

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  1. k

    is she delusional?

  2. Is she actually in Tokyo? Is she even in Japan?

  3. Yeah, this gal has lost her mind or was paid to speak this way of Tokyo.

  4. Mike

    Yet another reason to hate Croydon. I wouldn’t put it past the Sun to just fabricate this person entirely if they weren’t able to find someone.

  5. The Sun really got it wrong this time. The people of Tokyo are really chilled about the whole situation. The level of maturity and resolve of the people of Japan is amazing.

  6. I live in Nerima-ku and it’s quite normally lively and nice there. We’ve had a lovely sunny day today (albeit rather cold) and radiation levels where not highers as on any average day during the year. And, sheesh, we have neither turned green nor does anybody look as zombie as the Keely bitch, if she even exists.

    And the reason people are wearing masks? IT’S HAY FEVER GODDAMMIT!

  7. I’m pretty sure that she actually lives in Saitama. This kinda thing is normal to them up there!

  8. Reply
  9. I guess she’s just an attention seeker. Just like The Sun. SOULMATES!!!

  10. liam
  11. Ben

    She was infected by the Zombie Apocalpyse, and lost control of her upper brain functions.
    Logic and reason have no effect on them and they feed off of the mass media. Listening to one can infect you too with Zombie panic which then spreads further through out Tokyo.
    Apparently eating pot ramen and other crap can prevent infection by filling yourself up on so much shit, their bullshit cannot enter the system.
    This is what caused Tokyo convenience stores to run out of pot noodles and confectionary.

    Thankfully the outbreak of Zombie infection has begun to recede.
    Aiming for the head with heavy doses of common sense appears to distract them long enough to put them down and prevent further outbreak.

    The international governments have charted flights out of Tokyo not due to any seismic or nuclear threat, but they are secretly extracting the infected Zombie nationals to government containment facilities to suppress further outbreaks.

    The gourmet hamburger, coffee refills and free wifi in Ark Hills were perfectly fine the same day that women was infected.
    Maybe if she got out more, she could have avoided contracting Zombie fever.


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